Sometimes we get lost in life that we forget to do the things we once used to love. I guess that could be my reasoning for not writing anything in my blog for the past year and a half. Not that I did not travel nor did I have a year of learnings but still writing about travel just did not occur. Am I going to search for a structure to adhere so I can keep you interested in what I am going to write on here? All for what? A stat on my post. Does that make me feel better? if it does, is that really permanent? so no and fuck it.
So no there will be no structure, no agenda, no frills (maybe the way I want my life to be).
I am sure we all have the million dollar question about where is our life going on a daily basis and for those who don’t, well kudos to you and I am happy for you. It’s been a year and a half of ups and downs, however despite it all, I have a constant question in my head which constantly repeats itself and it goes something like this – ‘Am I supposed to be where I am in life, am I supposed to have somethings figured out by now?‘ . I believe it’s quite natural to have such thoughts in your 20s and beyond.
When we are kids we face struggles which now we look back on and think, how nice would it be to have those issues again/have those worries again? Instead of the worries, we have now? Isn’t it ironic we are hoping for lesser struggles that we encountered at one point in our lives instead of embracing our lives right now?
Am I going to instruct you to close your eyes sit in silence and meditate and thing about life balance? No, download headspace from the app store for all that jazz.
Does the above not apply to you? Well, my dear friend, I am happy for you. I am exuberantly ecstatic for your happy life. But for the rest who are navigating through life like I am, male and female alike. Well sincerely welcome to this outburst of rambles. Now I am sounding like a crazy person? Maybe, maybe not. Yes, I am crazy about life and the endless possibilities, being nice to everyone even if people shit on you, being apologetic to people I’ve hurt and making amends, I am crazy about being who I am even when everything’s falling apart! So yes consider me a bit crazy.
When I was at uni I thought okay let me get through this degree, life is gonna be rosy. When I left I thought let me get a job and all will be well. Here I am 27 and an engineer (slyly putting my bio here saving my parents the arranged marriage trouble) with somewhat a good life with millions of thoughts racing through my head yet there are days where I don’t know where I am going with life. Constantly looking at friends or social friends and seeing them move on with their life (getting married, settling down etc). Which makes me think like am I progressing? or have I stood still in time and everybody else is on some back to the future car getting the f out of the present! Well, they are not they are just doing life on their own terms. I am doing mine on my terms – this damn thought is so hard to grasp. I am not perfect at it, out of the 30 days in a month if I feel like I’ve got my shit together for half of them then I consider it a good month. Even if it not it’s okay, I will just have an explosion of thoughts surround myself with positive people. If it all doesn’t help take a walk and be happy about the shit I have in my life like a family, good friends, education and a job.
We are so convoluted in thoughts that define us based on how successful someone is that I feel like we have more bad days than we need to in a month or a year or whatever. Negativity comes back up quickly if I let them, but I’ve just got better at keeping them down and I am still working on it and that’s the truth for most of us isn’t it? even if we share ‘look its all sunflowers in my life’ posts on social media. we do that because not only do we educate others but its also a reminder to us life isn’t bad and it doesn’t need to be as bad as it was nor does it need to be in the future.
Should you continue reading this? Well, I am no self-help guru. I am just a normal guy going through life. Even though the term normal guy is something I am going to avoid saying because in this life if everybody is equal, then I am just a normal human being trying to get my life through different stages so I can have a better life for myself and wish for a better life for everyone else around me. So let’s do life on our own terms, let’s make mistakes, let’s learn from the hurt we’ve caused others, let’s learn from the hurt others have given to us and most importantly just live each day as we want to.